When the Idea of Missing you Hit me

I really missed talking to you where our stories to share stumbled upon one another. I really missed those days when we used to sleep at midnight just to simply converse about random things about our childhood, perspectives and beliefs and lives. The conversations we made still taunt me. I know those days were already over but there really comes a point in my life, when silence swallows me and all of the sudden, the thought of you would make me crazy and would bring a sudden thump in my chest. Honestly, I still want to talk with you. I missed those days. I really do. But I am pretty sure that they won’t ever happen again. It’s sad but true. And what sucks more is the bitter truth that I won’t be able to meet someone like you out there since you’re one-of-a-kind and the whole idea of you is beautiful for me. You’re incomparable and unique in your brilliant way. You are really one of the fewest persons I can talk with anything under the universe

Nineteen Things I Learned as I Deal with Adulthood

A. Life is one big, complex and complicated mess. It does not always go according to plan. It always finds its absurd reason to ruin every single plan you made for yourself in your head. The timeline you created when you were little? As much as I hated to be the bearer of a horrible news, it does not usually happen for most people. Those which did, well, they are great and lucky. Chances are indeed in their favors.

B. You really have to embrace your imperfections because nobody will ever do it for you except for you and yourself. You have to love the frizziness of your curly hair, the big bags under your round eyes over your thick brows, the bridge of your nose and the contours of your pale lips. You also have to learn how to treat the scars stitched through your skin as if wonderful creations and masterpieces. You also have to love the uneven curves of your body or even your toes. Love yourself when no one else does.

C. Smile a lot even you feel the positive vibe and aura inside you. Sometimes you just have to make someone feel better with that simple upward pull of your lips. Sometimes, you really have to be the instrument of happiness and joy. It is contagious after all.

D. Drink a lot of water. Your body will really thank you for that simple way of taking care of your God-given temple. And not that it is only good for your health, it can also help you save money since you will feel full or bloated. Bills of an adult is very different from being a teenager since aside from having expensive payables and taxes, there is also the thing that called saving. An adult must save for future purposes.

E. Sometimes, a blaring good music will help you kill all the monsters rampaging in your head and to shut the world down. There is really a time in adulthood where you you feel so low and the world is moving too fast or too slow that you cannot keep pace along with it. And you are starting to lose yourself and you just want to feel disconnected from it.

F. Your heart will break. No matter how hard you try to build barricades around it, someone out there always have tools to destroy it. And since you are crazy over your feelings, you will let your guard down without realizing that that person is not worthy at all and you will be left in a very catastrophic and devastated state.

G. You are going to lose people in your lives. Even friendship you think would last for a lifetime. Not because you are a bad person or what, but simply because they did something horrible to you that the only thing left is to walk away and remove them from the equation.

H. There really comes a time that you will feel such a loser and nothing is happening in your life despite everything. But you have to stop that right away since it will ruin you until you collapse and could no longer stand up again. You just have to believe in yourself no matter what.

I. People are very different from one another. Some are good. Some are not, obviously. But it should not be a reason for you to lose your faith in humanity.

J. You will feel that you just need an escape from everything since the things around you are very difficult to handle anymore. But you cannot since you know that you have to deal with them no matter what. You really have to since those things are tests for your patience and character.

K. Feelings and emotions will constantly falter. You easily get hurt. You tend to be sensitive over stupid and silly things you used to ignore when you were younger. You may wonder why you are suddenly being emotional over simple things. It is part of the process since everything on this stage is new to you.

L. Nobody will teach you how to deal with adulthood. You have to figure out it all by yourself. This is a thrilling, dangerous, exciting and exhausting stage that you have to conquer to reach the next tougher level. If you do not survive this, good luck Mario in saving your damsel in distress.

M. Intelligence is not sufficed to reach for your dream. It also takes courage. You have to be bold to take risks and go out of your comfort zone. You also have to have patience in waiting for the results. If it still did not fruit into something good, you should be patient enough to try again until you reach for it.

N. Education is absolutely important but having a college degree is not a guarantee that you are going to end up living a great life, rather it is simply an edge amongst others who are battling for that wonderful prize. It is up to you how are you going to use that beautiful priviledge given to you. Do not waste it. Tons of people out there wants to have education like yours.

O. Sometimes, you really have to speak out your thoughts and opinions for people to shut the fuck up and for them to realize that you are tired of them or their hideous attitudes.

P. You do not need to always look good in everyone’s eyes. You are a human being; allowed to commit mistakes but capable of learning; righteous to feeling something extreme. Everyday is not always a good day.

Q. Never compare yourself to others. The more you do, the more frustrated and exhausted you will be. The more you do, the more negative feelings you will attract. Stop comparing. And live your life.

R. Social media is a powerful instrument nowadays but you should not let this thing define your success, your life and most especially who you truly are. Do not be impressed by everything you see there. Not all you see there is true. If not some, most of them are deceit for the sake of wanting to look good in the eyes of everybody.

S. Life will never ever adjust itself for you. You must adjust yourself to deal with it.

I love you, I hate you

I love you, I hate you
I don’t know
what I feel

One moment, I’m
thrilled;
the next I know
I’m losing
my head

Is this how it’s
supposed to
be if it’s
something real?

No idea for
it always
happen to me
all the time
and I bled.

Should I pursue
or should I go?
I’m torn
between love
and hate.

Is this feeling
still worth a try
or just
another lost
chance?

Loving and hating,
are they balanced
together by
crazy fate?

Tell me, are you
worthy on this
love and hate dance?

Five Simple Things to Do when You’re Having a Rough Day

  1. Wash your face. Look in the mirror and tell yourself that it’s just another bad day but everything is going to be alright. And in case you made a petty mistake, keep telling yourself that you are simply a human being, imperfect but capable of learning.
  2. Create a playlist for happiness and positivity. Keep listening to it every time you are having a very bad day. Keep listening until the melodies kill the stress.
  3. Put a rubber bad around your wrist to remind yourself that everything is going to be alright.
  4. Grab an ice cream. There’s nothing better than eating your comfort food during a very dull and crazy day. Indulge yourself until you totally forget about everything.
  5. Take a walk to clear your mind. Feel the wind brushing against your skin to soothe your mind and body.

Just a Random Journal Entry

As I was walking along the street towards my office with my headphones on, my attention was suddenly veered into the falling dried leaves across the other lane. It was such a beautiful sight for me. For a short time, they were suspended in mid-air glimmering in their golden brown glow and swaying in the soft beats of the wind. They looked like confetti for me until they slowly fell above the head of a man riding a bike and roof of a white Honda. And honestly, I truly appreciate that simple pleasure and beauty of an ordinary day that it brought my lips into an upward pull. There’s always a beauty in everything and everywhere, it’s only up to you to find and appreciate it. Just look for it and it will fill your heart with gladness.

Please look at me like I am made of star dusts. I know I am a mess; miseries were stitched in my fiber, skin and bones but I can feel, at least, wonderfully created if you do me that simple favor. Please tell me that you will stay with me despite my imperfections and sorrows. I know I am hard to deal with and complicated, but when you’re by my side, I can never be alone.

To Love Someone Like Me

To love me means also loving to hear all the raging thoughts in my head at one in the morning when all of my frustrations suddenly burst; it also means embracing all the quirkiness wrapped around my entirety like adoring how beautiful the stars up above midnight or how the clouds move in a slow motion to form warriors and knights; it may as well mean coming with me at Mcdonald’s when I crave for some fries and sundae at two in the morning; it’s also defined as listening to my senseless and repetitious stories about my dreams, fantasies and everyday life. To love me means swearing that you would listen to the songs I would tell to you in the middle of the day because I assure you, you’d be hearing from me talking about them from time to time.

Loving someone like me isn’t easy for I am someone scarred badly in the past. My whole system is composed of heartaches, pains, sorrows and miseries—I am imperfectly flawed but that made me who I am. To love me is to embrace those imperfections stitched through my veins. To love me means allowing me to have solitude once in a while since I have these moments that I want to shut my world down from everybody else; I have those dark times that I never wanted to talk to anybody at all and just want to lock myself in my own world. Just give me some time to think, at the end of the day I will come back to you.  To love me is to tell me how much you care for me even in the slightest way—I will surely appreciate that even my form of appreciation and gratitude is to tell how corny or annoying you are, but deep down, your words mean a lot and warmed my heart. To love me means staying with me no matter how messy and difficult I could be. All I ever want is someone who will stand right behind me during my darkest and worst moments of my life.

To love me is to tell me your thoughts and opinions about the things I keep on telling you about even they mean nothing to you. To love me is to allow me to grow with you as a being physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually.

I am a complicated and difficult person. I am crazy, wild, freak, easily hurt and gullible. So tell me you love me when you only mean it. I don’t have time for some franks or what. I have had enough of heartbreaks in my past. I am aging and all I ever want for now is a stable and long-lasting relationship that would make me choose to stay no matter how many rocks were thrown at us or no matter how turbulent and bumpy the roads may get.

To love me means a little bit of sacrifice. But I can guarantee you that I could make you feel you’re the best person in the world and you didn’t make the wrong choice by choosing me over them. With me, I can make you feel disconnected from the rest of the galaxy. I will surely make tons of efforts for our relationship to keep going and last. It will be a tough ride for the both of us but I can assure you that it will be worth it and filled with so much fun. To love me means needing and wanting me like the way I do to you.