The problem with me is I cannot hate you; no matter how many pains you hurled at me; no matter how badly you hurt me either intentionally or not, I always go back to that one thing—that I love you so. I always try to look for reasons why I should hate you, why I should let you go but at the end of the day, I couldn’t because I need you. With each passing day, I need you more than ever. And this kind of feeling for someone like you is dangerous for someone like me—you are both my cure and my poison. So how do you expect me to live with that?


What’s with you? I am willing to be like a fool. I am willing to swallow my pride which is very important with me. I’m willing to look cheap and desperate. Just for me to be with you. Just for that one thing I badly need from you. I know I am insane because of this too much love but I no longer care. I just want you and only you.


Yet, I know you don’t even give a slightest damn about me, about my feelings, about my endless show of concern and affection for you. Maybe I am not really worth it. Maybe you truly enjoy fooling around. Maybe you absolutely enjoy playing games with me. Maybe you love the idea of someone like me is head over heels to someone like you. And I don’t know.


Right now, my head is filled with nothing but tangled thoughts. Also, I could no longer separate the truth from the lies. I no longer know the real and pure things. And to make it all more fuck up? I no longer care as long as you’re there.


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