Letter for my Future Lover

It is one crazy chance that someone will fall in love with me. However, it is a beautiful privilege to be loved in the most splendid way like you do. Everything is already uncertain between us from the very beginning, yet I am willing to stay with you no matter how many times life offers me reasons to give up and let it all go.

To be loved and accepted despite the flaws and imperfections stitched into my skin and flesh mean so much to me. Tons of people came along my way but they never stayed; they only gave me false hopes that something beautiful is going to happen between us. With that, I will always be endlessly grateful to you for choosing me over them even I know for a fact that I am not the best out there. I am thanking you for all the sacrifices you endured for me. I am aware that I am not easy to fall in love with that’s why I am really grateful to you.

As much as I am thankful to you, I simply want to apologize for some things. I am deeply sorry for being clingy and territorial when it comes to you—I am just afraid that you will find them more interesting and compelling than me; I am fearful that they will look more wonderful in your eyes that you might realize that I am not really the one you love. I am really sorry for being a drunk of jealousy every time you tell someone’s name who I believe create a special impact in your life; I just can’t help the bitter taste of it at the tip of my tongue that’s why it shows in my actions and words; I am not confident of myself that’s why I feel that sensation I shouldn’t really feel. I am really sorry for always living in my past when you are my present and my future; I cannot simply let them go because my ghosts still haunt me during the night. I am sorry for telling you about the miseries and sorrows that keep on running in my bloodstream even you tell me that I should already forget them. I am deeply sorry if I am too much of a burden and pain to you every time I started acting childish and immature. I am sorry for being cranky and impatient because the toll of the day has just taken over me but it doesn’t mean that I do not love you anymore. I always do. And I always will.

The kind of love we have may be different and difficult but I can assure you that it’s genuine, pure and real. I love you more than I love myself. It’s true love. Thank you for the patience, understanding, comfort and assurance that what you feel for me is true. Thank you for everything. And I promise that I will do my best to keep this love burning and long-lasting. You are truly the person I want to grow old with. Until our last breath, I will love you.

 

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