My heart carries too much heaviness in it after I laid my eyes open.The toll of missing you this way already crawled in my entirety. It’s only been almost two days of not talking to you but it felt like forever. Maybe I am really clingy and needy of you but I really can’t help myself for feeling as stupid as this. As much as I wanted to tell you how much I missed you, I just can’t since it may only lead to your annoyance. I don’t know. I just don’t want that to happen for it may soon lead to detachment.

After I ate my breakfast in a very lonesome manner, I took a bath with high hopes that I can remove this sadness engulfing me. However, the water only did splash away the germs in my bare skin from the previous day; my terrible feelings still remained. I tried to make this day as happy as possible since tomorrow is another long week for me yet no matter what I do, your thoughts still bother me; if you will ever come back. My thoughts are pathetic and hilarious, I know, and to tell you the truth, I am tired of them, of my emotions and of myself. If I could only rip my heart out to cleanse it to be brand new and to forget all the emotions I have for you, I would do it.

This longing of me for you is akin to my longing for my old self. If ever you can read this, I just want to tell that I missed you so much. And I am wondering if I ever crossed your mind even I do not text your or what. Will you soon come back? Or this no-talking-session of ours will lead to your detachment from me? If so, I must prepare myself for the upcoming devastation.


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