Each day, as I lay my eyes open, I have this growing fear inside me that always consume my entirety like a parasite. I try killing the parasite but it grew larger because I allowed it to. I cannot help myself to feel afraid to wake up one day with the realization that everything between us is all over; that you decided to stop whatever you’re doing with me right now. I am in a vehement awe that sooner or later I will neither receive any message from you nor phone calls.

I have to admit that you already turned my world upside down for a very short period of time. It seems like I no longer know myself anymore—the feelings I get from you already took control over me. It also feels that I am already losing my mind. I don’t know. Are you a magician? I’m already trapped in yourself.

Or maybe it is just me. I always overthink and get paranoid over things between us that I always give horrible meanings even you simply meant them as jokes. I am as well territorial and clingy. If that’s the case, I already want to apologize for being too immature. I am deeply sorry.

Nothing comes easy, right? But I do hope that if this beautifully tormenting thing between us comes to its end, it will be the ending I truly desire ever since it started.


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