Another Set of Frustration

Frustrations found another way to take over me lately. I strangely feel that nothing is really happening in my life. Maybe, I keep on rushing life and not simply enjoying it in any possible way. But I just can’t help feeling like this. The dreams I have since I was a kid are still dreams up to now and I do not know if the path I am taking right now will lead me there eventually. I have a job right now but this isn’t the one I love to do for the rest of my life. I terribly want to be a writer—a published writer. I want to share to other the ideas I have had inside my head. I want them to enter the world I have created through the combination of figures of speech. I want them to feel what I felt while writing those things. I want them to be inspired. And most especially, I want to change the world for the better through my writing.

But I do now know if I can make it there? Will I? We live in a modern world now where everything is almost instant. But success and living my dreams don’t come instantly or handy. I have to exert so much efforts and means to get a grip of them. But how am I supposed to make it? How am I supposed to be a published writer? How am I supposed to make all of my dreams come true?

Foxes do not get to chase after their hunters. I attempted chasing my foxes twice. But nothing wonderful happened. But at least I tried, right? And maybe my efforts were still not sufficed for me to have those dreams. Maybe, I should keep on striving to be a much better writer. Maybe, it wasn’t still my time to shine then.

Admittedly, there were moments in my 22 years of existence that I desired to let go of this dream like the way I let go of my past but something is holding me back. I do not want to be a quitter. Thousands or millions of successful people out there didn’t give up during the early years of their lives to have whatever they have right now. So why would I give up? Maybe this is an insane test for my perseverance, patience and tenacity in reaching for my dreams and goals.

Who knows maybe few years after I would look back into this crappy writing with a grin dangling at the corner of my lips since I was able to make it, at last? This life is a chaotic and tangled web of beautiful possibilities.

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