I am 22 years old—still young. Yet I cannot help myself from worrying too much about my future; what if I wouldn’t make it? I know, life must be enjoyed at this point of my life, however, this is as well the stage where I keep on worrying about what lies ahead for me. This kind of worries are perpetual; they even make me feel small of myself—I sensed that somehow I haven’t done anything big for myself.
I should be enjoying this life since I am young, full of spirits, vibrant and energized but it wasn’t the case at times. There’re indeed moments when I will be stressing myself out every time I remember the dreams I built when I was still a teenager. During those days, I already knew what to do to fulfil my dreams, I already knew the steps on how to get there. But right now, those tiny ladders seemed to be hard to climb on; as if they kept on breaking into pieces. And that was heck.
When I was 12, I discovered what I truly wanted in my life—a published writer. I desired to create words and stories; I longed for my thoughts to be heard; I wanted to share the beautiful stories in my head; I fancied to inspire other people through my writings. Since then, I held into the dream up until now with high hopes that sooner or later it will be reality. After reaching the age of 15, I figured out I can write some sorts of crazy songs caused by too much heartaches. Look how funny brokenness turned out into something creative. Then I thought myself to play the guitar. A published writer and a successful writer are the two things I dreamt to be. If plausible, one of the best the Philippines has ever produced.
Will I make it? Will I break it? What lies ahead? That’s what I do not know but I believe in what I believe in and I believe that I can make it. But hopefully, this anxiety in me will ebb like the waves and tides in the ocean.