Love had never been good to me in the past. Yes, there were moments when I felt joy with whatever I was feeling then, but at the end of the day, love will claim back those happiness to pour me with large doses of sadness and despair. That’s why when I found the right way of moving on, I told myself that I will try my hardest not to feel any love– the romantic kind for anyone else since my heart was totally damaged. I built walls around it. But within a single blow, you came. You destroyed everything. You allowed me to be vulnerable again. And I never wanted it in the first place but I just let it happened. I don’t know why or what the heck had happened but I just knew I am in love with you.
I’ve been wondering all throughout, why you came into my life all of a sudden when I have already decided that falling in love will not be in my to-do-lists? For me to believe in love again? That despite the heartaches and pains the past had brought me, there’s still someone out there who can show me that hope and bliss are still present? To put me back into places? To heal me and my broken pieces? To love me back? Or to break me once more? Please, don’t let this feeling to be in another devastating state; relentless and tormenting.
I’ve been praying for you to have the special feelings as well even for now, I believe that maybe you are in love with somebody. I’ve been asking for signs and He’s giving it to me; positive signs for me to cling into hopes which I don’t know if true or false. But I am sincerely hoping that if the right time comes, our hearts will beat as one and we will try to prove that somehow, forever exists in the mortal world.