I try to slow it down—our walks toward our destination since weekends are coming hence I will be seeing you on Monday again. Those days of not being with you are excruciatingly painful for someone like me who hides his emotions towards you. If you can only have a way to figure this all out, I guess, I won’t be as damn as right now. But I’m a coward when it comes to you. I just can’t simply walk in front of you and shout at your face how much I love you. Admitting won’t simply do. It will be like separating oil from water. All I can do right now is to suppress everything inside my already battered heart; contain everything as long as I can ‘til my implosion ensues. Damn it! Damn this feeling. Why above all people, you’re the one I fall in love with? You’re simply a stranger to me back then so how come that I felt the sudden wave of love all of a sudden. There are tons of people walking around me but why my foolish heart felt something towards you?
I was feeling down last night and this morning. Sad songs added to the extremity of my empty feeling because my thoughts turned to you. And I simply hate it. I simply wanted to put an end to this madness I am feeling for you ever since you stirred my sensations in a way I can never explain. But I don’t know how. Surely, someone like you will never have a slightest interest with someone like me. The emotions in my system keep on growing as the painful days drag by. I keep on praying to God to end all this craziness I am feeling because it ain’t doing me any good. I simply want to be my old self again. I don’t know His plans for me but I know that there may be some beautiful thing after these hail of pains in me.