I never imagined that I will be in this place again—feeling like bull shit in the most unusual part. Every inch of my inside is burning with heartaches and sorrows because of the pains caused by loving you. To be completely honest with you, I never loved the idea of loving someone like you; just so you know, I’ve tried my hardest before to avoid love. But here I am right now, loving you in the most ironic way; beautiful yet tragic. If I can only erase this feeling in my heart, I will do it right away because I am exhausted with this kind of feeling. But I cannot do that. It will feel like cutting my skin off since your traces were all over me even you haven’t been mine. The sound of your name, the echo of your voice, everything you do make my heart jumped in a ridiculous way. Words are my only escape from these burning pains since no one can heed what I feel but words seemed to be superfluous when feelings have gone too much, too extreme. Surely, even I put an end to this writing my heart will still feel something is missing. And I hate that. I badly detest that. What I truly wanted is to open my heart out to you but I know for a fact that you will never ever consider someone like me for I am simply nobody. Hence, what I hope is for this torture to come to its stop since I am deeply afraid that I can no longer take it.


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