I fancy the idea of being cool whether in real world or on the Internet but unfortunately, I’m not even in the brink or passable stage of being one. Some says I am ‘cool’, but sadly, I can’t feel it in myself; the sensation of coolness never flows into my veins to pump into my heart so I can completely feel it. Or I’m just being hard on myself again? That I didn’t appreciate whatever is in me that others find beautiful? Or I’m just simply yearning for more which I can see in some ‘cool kids’ and I desire to be in me. I don’t know but having this feeling sucks. Low self-esteem, insecure and even nothing is beyond disgust. but I can’t help it. I’m just a human being prone into this kind of sensations which I presumed will fade away as soon as possible, the same way my ink will put an end into this crazy writing.
-02:31 A.M. thougthts